Social Anxiety
Therapy for Social Anxiety
Helping people make peace with the fear of what other people think is a big part of my passion for this work. If you rehearse conversations before they happen and replay them for days afterward, you are in the right place.
Rehearsing before, replaying after
Social anxiety is more than shyness. It is the sense of being watched and judged, and the fear that one wrong word will cost you something that matters. You may rehearse a phone call three times before dialing, draft a text and delete it, or stay quiet in a meeting even when you know the answer. Afterward the replay begins: what you said, how it sounded, what they must have thought. It can run for hours or days. None of this means something is wrong with you. It means a protective part of you is working overtime.
- Scripting conversations before they happen
- Replaying them afterward, hunting for the mistake
- Saying no to invitations you would like to accept
- Blushing, a shaky voice or a mind that goes blank
- Relief when plans fall through, then loneliness
Why avoiding feels so reasonable
Every invitation you decline brings a moment of relief, and relief is powerful. Your body learns that staying home kept you safe, so the next invitation feels even harder. Over time the circle of comfortable places, people and conversations can shrink, and loneliness can start to feel like the price of safety. Avoidance is not laziness or weakness. It made sense, and it deserves respect rather than a lecture. Our work is to widen that circle again, gently and at a pace you can live with.
Questioning the inner critic with CBT
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, offers a clear sequence: notice the thought, test the rule, practice a response that serves you better. Social anxiety tends to run on rules like "If I pause, everyone will notice" or "If they went quiet, they must be annoyed with me." We look at those rules with curiosity instead of judgment. What is the evidence? What else might explain the silence? What would you say to a friend who believed this about themselves? The aim is for the critic in your head to become one voice you can question, not a verdict you have to obey.
Gradual practice, one small step at a time
Insight helps, but on its own it rarely changes a pattern, so we practice. Together we build a ladder of situations, from mildly uncomfortable to the ones that feel out of reach for now, and you choose where to begin. A first step might be asking one question in a meeting, staying a little longer at a gathering, or making a phone call without a script. Between sessions you try a step, notice what happens, and bring it back. You set the pace. I do not push into anything you are not ready for, and you can say no to a step.
Walk-and-talk can lower the pressure
Sitting face to face can be one of the hardest parts of therapy when you fear being looked at. A walk-and-talk session happens outdoors, side by side on a quiet route, which can lower the pressure of eye contact and make the harder sentences easier to say. Being outside can also feel exposed, so we talk it through first. Before the first walk we discuss the limits of confidentiality in detail and agree in advance what to do if we pass someone you know. Weather, mobility and privacy all factor in, and you can move back indoors or online any week.
If the office feels more contained, in-person sessions take place in Southwest Austin on Fridays and some select other times and days as schedules allow. Online therapy anywhere in Texas can be a gentler way to begin, by secure video from a private space, as long as you are located in Texas during the session. If you start online, we can talk honestly later about whether stepping into the office, or onto a walk, becomes part of your practice.
Where the fear of judgment comes from
The fear of other people's opinions can grow from many places: a family where keeping everyone happy felt like your job, a classroom or team where mistakes were mocked, or a long habit of saying yes so no one would be disappointed. If that last one sounds familiar, therapy for people pleasing looks at the same roots from another side, and anxiety therapy in Austin covers worry and panic more broadly. Sessions are available in English and Spanish, and you do not need a diagnosis to start.
Common Questions
What if the consultation call itself makes me nervous?
That is understandable. The free consultation is a 15-minute phone call, and you start by sending a few lines through the contact form. I review your note, you choose a consultation time, and a few honest sentences are enough.
Is walk-and-talk a good option for social anxiety?
It can be. Walking side by side can lower the pressure of eye contact, but being outdoors can also feel exposed, so we decide together. We discuss the limits of confidentiality in detail before the first walk, and you can move back indoors or online any week.
Will you push me into situations I'm not ready for?
No. Practice is gradual, and you help choose every step. I do not push into material you are not ready for, and you can say no to a topic and nothing bad happens.
Can sessions be in Spanish?
Yes. Sessions are available in English and Spanish, both in person at the Southwest Austin office and by telehealth anywhere in Texas.
The consultation is free and there is no obligation on either side.
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